Missing you. Terribly and madly.

Dear Diary,

Life is so awful without you. Feels like I have nothing to do even when I am bound to so many tasks and so many students to teach. I get way too tired after they leave and even when I need a hell lot of sleep, I want to spend that time with you. If you were with me, I could easily stay active and stay awake the whole day and night and whatever comes in between. Feels like there's just nothing important left in this chaotic world full of 8 billion people and God knows how many other sorts of creatures. Feels like I am the lonely one. Just better off asleep the whole day than do anything but BE with 'you'. I knew that you have become such an important part of my life. but didn't know that I can hardly survive without you. I am close to dying if you don't come back to me in another week. I am serious. Yes, I surely love you more than this idle life.
Just wanna do nothing but hold you in my hands and keep texting my friends by running my fingers on your black, shiny, slim and attractive keypad. Oh, you are so precious to me my dear,






'CELL PHONE'!
Waiting every single moment till I can have you back in my hands again and will never ever let you go. Please get repaired soon! :(
Life is crappy without a cell phone.
Miss you,

No, my phone is not that cool as the one above. I have a crappy ordinary Nokia 2630 which I've been using for 5 years. Think it's begging me for a retirement but, Oh well.    

Your's Addicted,

Me <3

Sounds like a good idea

Sounds like a good idea.

Shahid Afridi

Shahid Afridi - 
He is that same looser who was the sole reason when Pakistan won the T20 World Cup 2009,He is that same looser that led a bunch of sheep & turned them into lions and single-handedly took them to semi-final in 2011 World Cup,He is that same looser who holds the most world records from Pakistan, most sixes in odi, most man of the matches, won most of the matches for pakistan, fastest century in both test & odi which is still intactBtw after many many years, fastest spinner ever in cricket history, leading wicket takers in T20, one of the all time leading wicket takers in ODI, Only bowler who is a leg spin drifting master,
He is that same looser who strikes fear in bowlers & almost ended their careers... According to ICC he is an Einstein of cricket, favorite of Brain Lara, one of the greatest batsmen according to Tony Greig,
Ganguly said: we used to do special training for bowlers if Afridi was playing..
Yuvraj said: I hit 6 sixes but didn't even get as popular as Shahid Afridi"............
And the list just goes on to pile....

(Copied)

Suicide..??

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all.
Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you. It's not even a question to repost this, it's just the right thing.

No one knows how much this subject means to me, I love every single one of you.


(Though the post is copied from someone else, but I mean it. Just share your problems with me, please? )

L-O-V-E

After Breakup Talks:

-" Damn, Why does it happen if it can't last?" 

-"It lasts. It surely does. It's just the society rules that don't let it go well."

Kidnapped

An article published on the Express tribune Blog about the kidnappings in the Sindh and Baluchistan region. The main focus of these kidnappers are the rich Hindus of that area. The Hindu Community is worried and the Government is as unresponsive as ever.. http://tribune.com.pk/story/442287/kidnapped-2/

A Random piece from my journal

Dear Diary,

It's rainy today. It's raining so hard or "pouring" will be the best word I guess. Karachi looks more fascinating. Kids playing in the dirty puddles, cars stuck in the traffic jam, Roads looking like pools, girls complaining when they have to take care of their clothes, books and hand bags while passing through the flooded roads, teens standing at the Pakorey wali dukaan and eating pakora and samosa with Chai. Everybody's happy. Everyone loves rain except for when they cut the electricity supply due to rain.. All my friends tweeting and texting about how happy they are about the rain. :)

Hina Meghani: Reached home after 4 hours of getting stuck into the traffic.

Aman: Tired, bored, exhausted, no hawa in his hall, no mooooooood to go out or take a shower-lazy as always.

Me: In Usta :'(  {A small town in the interior Sindh of Pakistan}

#MissingKarachi

Dilemma

"Do you trust me? "

"Of course, I do. Otherwise I wouldn't tell you everything. Why'd you ask?"

"WOW, you trust me?! Well, DAMN! CRAP, HELL, NO.  NO.  NOOO!! " -_-

"What? Why? What happened?.... Hey, reply plz.? " :O 

And I quit replying..

I soo wanna break your trust. Like it's not even funny. Trust me, like no shit!

Every now and then, I think of the 2 year old boy sitting next to me on the swing in my balcony. We swing on it together, we play, we laugh, we talk and we share things about our school. Yes, it's when we are 2. I have the best time of the day with you and think of it when your're gone.
And I still remember that little boy and his talks even now if I'm 17.

And now, I see a 17 year old teenage boy, who cheats with his loved ones, breaks rules, breaks *hearts*, doesn't give a damn to truthfulness, honesty, sincerity and being nice.

"What? Am I not honest with 'you'? ", you would ask me. Yes, yes you are all honest with me and that's exactly what kills me!

No, Seriously. What hurts the most is that 'I know' you're ruining yourself. 'I know' that you're gonna end up bad. 'I know' that you're becoming the person nobody wants you to be-specially not me.

And yet, I still can't DO anything! And that's because of the trust of you on me.

That 2 year old boy forces me, urges me and commands me to change this 17 year old teen into the person he was supposed to be. And the very core of my soul wants to bring that boy back. And I'd do anything to bring him back and yet, Nothing! I don't have the power to. Since I'm bound to the strong bond of our friendship and I don't wanna loose it.

How can I just stay quiet and let you finish yourself when I am one of your well-wishers? How can I just see it all silently and let you die and don't even try to save you? Just because you damn 'trust' me to keep all your dark secrets, I have to be co operative in a painful way.

And yet, I'm having a battle inside of me, thinking if I should listen to those 2 year old boy and girl or this teenager..?

Which makes me wonder that how would 'you' react if the situation was reversed? Would you save me or let me destroy myself with my very own will?

Think about it!

Educated Much?!

You are educated but not tolerant?!

-What-A-Shame!

Avoided

I am not selfish. Never. Well, not with "you". It's just the way I get treated that I know I have to go away from you...

A Secret In My Heart

I have a secret in my heart
A mystery that hasn't been solved,
An old story that wasn't ever told,
A book that was never unopened.

I have a secret in my heart
What is it about? You may ask!
Keeping it hidden, isn't an easy task.
I might even expose it, when the tears fall,
Then a fake smile covers it all.

A silly joke, a funny incident
I tell you and you sit to listen.
This is how I take you away,
Away from my world and my troubled day.

I have a secret in my heart,
And I laugh a lot.
Laughing all the time,
This is what I got.

This life is too short,
To cry and snort.
The ability to smile is a blessing.
Spend your life partying!

None is your true one.
World's all about faking.
Be the best!
It's a game of chess.
Protect your king,
By keep smiling.

The Art of Happiness,
Is simply this:
Just keep the secret in your heart,
A secret that Nobody ever got!

written by Me.. In my most boring times when all I do, is thinking. And oh, Of course, Rhyming ;D

Let me know if you can guess the secret in my heart ;)