"It's over!" was all we were thinking on June 26, 2012, as we landed on the pure soil of my homeland Karachi, Pakistan. Our Exchange program came to an end but a much harder time had started-the time to be an active YES Alumna. I was dreaming about working with the YES Alumni Pakistan and being a mentor for the kids in next groups of YES Pakistan.We all met our families at Karachi Airport and said goodbyes to each other with hugs and promises of staying in touch and that we'll hang out later.
As I reached home, I saw that everything in the house was packed. Most of the furniture was gone and it didn't really look like my house. I turned around and looked at my mom's worried face with confused eyes. She couldn't meet my eyes and my heart started racing faster.
-"We are moving to India. By July 10th!", said my mom.
I froze.
The world around me just stopped. All that I dreamed about my future started swimming in front of my eyes.
- Me, as a successful and active YES Alumna.
- Me, training the YES batch of 2013-2014.
- Me, a medical student at AKU or DOW University.
- Me, a Second year student at AKHSS, K.
Nothing mattered anymore!
I had a thousand questions for my mom. What are you saying? Are you serious? How? When?? Why? When? Why don't I know? Where are we going? For what? What about my school?
Whyyy????
But I couldn't. Speak. At all. It wasn't what I had been expecting when I came back from my exchange year in America.
"We decided to move to India while you were gone. Due to religious reasons. As you know all our relatives have moved there. We don't have religious security here anymore...something something..We didn't tell you 'cause we didn't want you to get worried in America...something something.. We wanted you to be happy...", My mom tried to explain.
Happy? me? For leaving Pakistan? Seriously??
I am speechless. Really.
Yes, I am flexible and can handle everything. And I will handle this moving as well as I can. Yes, I am shocked and took some time to recover myself.
It's true, I am not ready! Will never be. How can I??
It's not just about leaving Karachi, my college, my school, my relatives, my friends.
It's about leaving my whole 16 years of life behind. It's about leaving my YES friends; The most wonderful people I have ever met in my life! I was so impressed by the Alumni network we have and was so excited to be a part of the YES Alumni Pakistan.I wouldn't be able to do that. Or would I??
Yes, It's painful but I am strong.
Yes, It's a very big decision, but I am smart.
Yes, It will change my whole life, but I am flexible.
Yes, I'm dead sad for leaving my friends, but I am good at Moving On.
Yes, my family loves me and I love them the most.
Yes, It's unexpected but I know Waheguru has something good in his mind for me.
Yes, The situation is confusing and I need help but I can make it better because:- I am going to be a part of YES Alumni India and will serve as a connecting agent between India and Pakistan. I can represent Pakistan there, like another Exchange year.-Now, That's fun! :D
- I will go for Biotechnology in Indian colleges; which I would have to do anyway.
- I will be an AFS Alumna in India (AFS is not in Pakistan).
- I will support my family by being there for them all the time.
- I will use all the tools that I used during my exchange year and make it better.
Wait, this doesn't mean that I will not be a Pakistani anymore!
I always have and will always be Bleeding Green!
I am very thankful to all the Pakistanis I've ever met! I love my YES friends and YES Alumni. You guys have always been there for me whenever I needed help. I really wish I could be an Active YES Alumni Pakistan member. But please don't exclude me from anything. I love YES Pakistan!
Friends, Please don't be strangers. I will really miss each and every one of you! You guys share a special part in my life.
Any concerns, please feel free to ask me anything:
My facebook : http://www.facebook.com/sonam.chawla.58
My twitter: SonamChawla1
My email: chawla.sonam@hotmail.com.
In the end,
Love Pakistan,
Love you all.
Remember me in your precious prayers!
Pakistan Zinbabad! Always!
girl i'll really miss u like hell!! u were and are a great and aala bandi..... plzz try and do come back and visit us.... =)
ReplyDeleteI will try my best. I love you. I'll miss you too!
ReplyDeleteSonam! I am speechless. I was so excited to spend my second year of college with you but this, I never ever expected. But that's alright dear. Yes, there must be something really great waiting for you there:) be brave as you've always been and keep in touch. We love you:*
ReplyDeleteI know.. I was wayyy too excited to come to AKHSS.. Wish I could continue my 2nd year there with you guys.
DeleteThanks. And please please please, stay in touch with me!
I love you :*
its a dual feeling. sadness because we'll miss you and happiness because Life has presented you a frequent change, that will prove your strengths. Good luck Sonam!
ReplyDeleteAli,
DeleteThis comment of your's had inspired me. :D It's was really sweet of you. Thanks.!
Sonam.Stay strong. Be positive. Bleed Green :D
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Irfan bhai, for everything you've done to help me. You, be awesome! :)
DeleteStay strong girl!
ReplyDeleteWe love you! :)
Thank you Appi :)
DeleteI love you too!
STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT... BUT WHATEVER MY BEST WISHES FOR YOU .............REMEMBER BE PAKISTANI FOREVER
ReplyDelete=) ZALKIFEL RAO
I know, I can't believe it either. Feeling like a miracle would occur and it all will stop from happening..
DeleteThanks Zalki. Please stay in touch.
It's sad you had to leave ur motherland this way. And all because of the intolerance of a small group of swine.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, on behalf of India I welcome you. I understand that even if you eventually begin to like it here, it will still never be able to take the place Pakistan had in your heart. But I hope you soon begin to feel at home here
Cheers
CRD
Do visit mine
www.scriptedinsanity.blogspot.in
Hey CRD,
DeleteThank you so much. I really appreciate your concerns.
Thank you for welcoming me. yeah, I like India too but I 'love' Pakistan. I'll try my best to get adjusted here.
:)
Sonam, guess what? I am really happy that you will be leaving..Pakistan is never gonna understand the rights of miniorites.. I feel shy to say that it is a democracy when it is a theocracy.. Please keep loving the soil of Pakistan though..It is really great, but how the people make it is another cup of tea!! I would encourage youto merge into your majority, it could be unwillingly, to breathe like a part of a nation. .. We are gonna miss you..I am hoping that at any turn in life, Pakistanis are gonna accept diversity; please dont forget to come back at that time, becasue it is your homeland and it will be...
ReplyDeleteBest of luck with every thing. let bravety feel shy in ur present...:)
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